Once I was at university, we held a belief I’m only a little ashamed of now: that casual hookups are intrinsically disempowering and demeaning for females.
It had been a belief echoed by many people commentators that are conservative books and articles We eagerly read, experiencing which they affirmed my very own emotions and experiences.
Searching straight back because I had felt degraded every time I had it on it, though, I can understand why I believed that: I thought that casual sex was degrading.
But when I later knew, the reason why we felt degraded wasn’t because casual intercourse is inherently degrading. It absolutely was because my hookup partners had addressed me like an item, like a way to an end. They didn’t worry about my pleasure, they ignored and disrespected me personally a short while later, in addition they had been usually pushy and coercive.
The greater amount of I learned all about feminism, the greater amount of I discovered that my experiences with casual intercourse with guys squeeze into a much wider pattern of structural sexism. They addressed me personally in that way because that’s how they’d learned to deal with ladies (frequently not only in hookup situations, either), plus the reason they’d learned to take care of women this way had been simply because they, as with any of us, had been raised in a sexist culture.
Regrettably, while you can find genuine and crucial critiques to be produced regarding the means that hookup culture tends to operate, lots of the critiques we hear most frequently are coming from a location of intercourse negativity and a concern about young people’s sex . (más…)